Great Expectations

I am starting to regard Tuesdays as either the scariest day of the week or one of the most exciting, all depending on how strict I was over the weekend. One of the hardest things about weighing at the beginning of the week is the chance of failure during the weekend. Especially the weekend of Super Bowl Sunday.

Five weeks in, I have been expecting that invisible wall to rear its head and stop my forward momentum. Though it takes about a month of continuous gym visits before your body becomes accustomed to the change, a lot of the time I feel just as exhausted and sore as the first day I ever went. I kept expecting my legs to get weak and to pass out when I leave the gym. At least that is how I feel everyday. It is getting frustrating not reaching that stride you hear about when you're working out and suddenly you begin to feel like Superman and your legs are no longer aching and you're never out of breath. Knowing how I've treated goals in the past, I keep expecting myself to decide I don't need to go to the gym today. Every day I expect myself to gorge on anything around me. Every day I expect to flat give up because normally I wouldn't have a problem saying enough is enough.

Many times throughout our lives some of the greatest of expectations are placed on our shoulders.  For some it is to be the fastest on the field or to be the best shot on the court. For others it is to have the highest grade in the class. For a lot of us adults, it is to get that promotion we've worked so hard for and deserve or to provide for our families when you've lost your job during these tough times. Some expectations are pressed upon us by others while a lot are brought on by ourselves. Suddenly when you least expect it, when you feel you've worked harder than ever to exceed those expectations, the ugly wall appears out of nowhere hindering any forward progress you've made.

Today has been one of my most anxiously anticipated days of the year so far for me. I have had several weeks of positive momentum but after the weekend of party invites, finger foods and football my greatest expectation was disappointment. Lucky for me, I exceeded them. I can now say I am four pounds from my first 20 pound goal. Losing 5 pounds in a week may be a bit more unhealthy than the doctor's orders, but I'll take it and I'm not giving it back. So far I have lost 16 pounds since the beginning of the year. On top of that, I exceeded another one of my expectations today. I broke through the barrier of the sore legs and being short of breath. Every now and then I'll have a dream that I am jogging and I can go for miles without getting winded and though tonight I wasn't jogging, I OWNED that elliptical. It felt amazing with every stride being able to go faster, longer and yet I wasn't panting and sucking in air like a fish out of water. The puny punk next to me even tried to keep up only to quit after the first few minutes and ended up disappearing all together.

Ironically, whatever TV show Leighanne is watching while I type this just said, 'Without passion, you can't succeed." I see now that a healthy lifestyle has to become a passion for me if I am going to keep reaching my goals each week. I am sure I have a few failures down the road and a couple of walls I'll have to break through, but right now I'm going to keep a steady pace and carry a sledge hammer just in case.